Microfiction: Da Doof

Da Doof

by Luke Evans © 2018

I hate nightclubs. They're too loud and the music's invariably shit. What's so good about a DJ anyway? It's just a guy changing the CD’s. Every place has one. Now they tour around as if they were famous and people go to see specific ones. What's that all about?

To top it all off, when I'm drunk, the incessant “Doof-doof-doof” noise of the bass makes me literally puke. It fucks me up and I don't know why. I can't stay in the room because my body rejects the music violently.

I like the atmosphere of a pub with a live band. I like to be able to talk to the people I’m out with, which you can’t do at a nightclub. No, sir – pubs for me. If I like a band, I become something of a groupie (minus the “sleeping with the band” part). I'll go exclusively to their gigs, because good house bands are few and far between and I rarely go out. I'm not wasting that time going to some wannabe's concert. This is my Zen time and I have strict criteria that have to be met. I'm not fucking around here, people. This is important.

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Published in 2019, this piece of microfiction was published as part of Spineless Wonders 2018 microfiction anthology, "Shuffle". It was submitted in the Hunter Region Category for their 2018 Spineless Wonders and Newcastle Writers Festival joanne burns Microlit Award (yes, the lower case usage is intentional!). Artists working with Spineless Wonders adapted this piece into other media versions, including this audio version linked to here: https://soundcloud.com/spineless-wonders (It's in the "Shuffle" playlist, Track 7). All copyright for this adapted piece remains with Spineless Wonders.

Spineless Wonders is a... dare I say it... wonderful Australian publishing house, giving many publishing opportunities to Australian artists. Please go to https://shortaustralianstories.com.au/ to have a look at the books they have available and the opportunities that they are offering. As a part of my agreement to be published in the 2019 anthology, I retained the right to republish this work after the agreed-upon grace period, which ended in 2019.

-Pic: The cover of "Shuffle", an anthology from Spineless Wonders. © Spineless Wonders, 2019

NOTE: The pictures used here have been sourced from different internet sites, always linked to under the picture. In the case of comic panels, the original issue numbers and creators are listed, as well as the company that owns them. All rights remain with the original creators and have been used here for entertainment and educational purposes only.